Saturday, February 21, 2009

I just walked into the laundry room and found a huge bag of baby girl clothing. One of Eric's co-workers gave them to us, but I think they had been in Eric's car for awhile. I didn't know they were there. They are all summer clothes, the size we would need for Nana this summer. My heart hurts right now, that's the only way I know how to describe how I feel. I wish I could dig down deep and find some hope that she might be wearing these this summer, some days I have that kind of optimism and hope...some days I just don't. Eric had a conversation with our case worker on Friday...long conversation, no answers. Tuesday I will be talking for the first time with Patty Anglin, the director of Acres of Hope. She is now in Liberia, which is a very good thing. I'm looking forward to talking with her. I'm hoping for at least a few answers, but even if I just get some reassurance that Nana is doing well I'll be happy.

As I sit here typing I hear Riley in the other room..."Mom, this stuff is so cute. come look. Trey look at the pj's!" I'm going to dig way, way down and find some hope, for their sake at least. It's time like these where my prayers must start to sound really desperate, almost like I'm begging God for some help with this. I really don't even know how to pray tonight, just hoping the Spirit speaks to the Father on my behalf.


Stephen said...

you know what? in desperate times hope just doesn't seem to be a reality.

that is when you rely on those who love you to carry that hope until you can find it again for yourself.

we got you covered!!

kerri said...

You have no idea how much I need to hear that this morning.

I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read my journal and for the kindness of your words.